goGREEN.

where am I?
what am I doing?
i'm turning myself inside out.

do you know what that feels like?
it feels a little crazy...every emotion running at least once.
(i only recommend it if you have a professional as close to you as I.)
do you know what it looks like?
raw.
i feel like if you look at me, you will see my insides...the parts, the feelings, all of it. i'm vulnerable and shy. i am processing and short of confidence. i can cry in .1 seconds. and do.
if you listen to me, i talk (or write) in circles (or I say little). i have to put words to it all. and then i exhaust myself to the point of not wanting to say or think another thing about it all.
if you touch me (like the 3 totally random heartfelt "i love you" hugs I got the last 2 days), i will melt into you.

i do my "work" during school hours, and pull it together for lazy evenings with the boy. nanna provides the dinners.

am i a mess?
no way.
this is supposed to happen.
this is a part of the work.
this was my goal, and the process is as important as the result.
sigh...the result.
go green.