i adore my child.
and motherhood.
and parenting.
i have loved it from the moment i acknowledged the reality of a little body growing in my womb.
it was as if his little self was literally embracing my heart as he grew and preparing me for our meeting on the outside.
and when he came, the fresh warm sweetness of him melted into my skin in a way that kept us one and reminded us both that we are bonded in this earthly experience.
i don't know why a nineteen year old wreck gets a baby.
or is trusted with the grand responsibility of teaching, assisting, and loving a person through life.
now my boy is a year older than i was when i met his dad.
life is confusing and odd and fragile.
and i get to help a teenager make sense of the world and find his place in it.
i get to help him uncomplicate his story, or be content with the flaws and decide how he will write the rest of it.
he is becoming a man. 
how did enough time pass that he is transitioning into a young man?
i love him.
i have loved him since i felt him shifting his folded body inside me, every moment of his warm baby scented goodness, all through his curious toddler years, and then through the blissful stages of childhood.  he has been the funnest, sweetest, most precious boy to love.
i have loved him through his preteen confusions frustrations and worries. i nurtured and healed and loved him into a teenager. 
and now here we are.  i am still loving him as he navigates through friendships and cute girls and coaches and classes that determine his one-day-life's work, and scouting and church responsibilities and finding (literally searching;) for the joy in serving others. i love seeing his heart respond to children and animals.  i love seeing his cautious, slow to warm up self make a connection.  i love when the walls come down and someone else gets a glimpse of this boy i've been loving for fourteen years. 
i love the clarity and goodness that exists in the walls of our home and in the foundation of our family...the two of us.  it is far from perfect, but it is where we bond.  where we learn about life, and purpose.  it's where we are rejuvenated and made whole again.  it is our happy.

i should probably note that the magnitude of what my cute boy has done for me has been beyond anything i could have ever known or experienced otherwise.  it has been life-changing and miraculous and beautiful (i never never said perfect).
i can't believe i get to be called mother.
i'm so glad heavenly father knows what he's doing.