wide awake.

hello there, it's july.
the plan for this summer was to detox, relax, workout, organize, declutter, earn extra money, chill.
the reality has been very busy, lots of chauffeuring the boy around, lots of anxiety and worry, lots of intense parenting, lots of work to maintain spiritual growth, and very very little sleep.
sometimes my aching heart feels tangible.  like i can actually feel the ache.
hopefully that was just june.
i have july to get it together right?
july will be my month.
i will get it together.

cause august brings complicated coworkers and if i don't get it together my sensitive insides might crumble.
get a backbone already, right?
they will sense my weaknesses and rip me to shreds.
actually, i'm quite logical about it all most moments.
it's just that the evenings are so overwhelmingly full of worry that i don't dare close my eyes before i'm certain i will fall quickly into a deep slumber.
so here i am blogging at 2am.

come on july.
be good to this gal.